That’s Too Much, Man

It’s like rejection turned into my best friend

Her words keep on ringing, she’s always in my head

She keeps me running straight into the dead ends

With her I feel safe, like as if she knows me best

I smile but I pretend

   To have it together

I’m a mess, I always end up in distress

Shoulders tense all due to stress

Cut the metaphors, I’ll be direct

I don’t really know how I feel

My mind gets overwhelmed and it’s just too much deal

I start to get consumed

Thoughts that make me feel like a fool

Am I just doomed?

Sometimes you need to be on your own

Just to be one with your soul

But tell me why I hate being alone

I’m used to it, a piece of shit

That’s how I feel sometimes

I just sugarcoat my words

With some sweet-sounding rhymes

But deep down inside

I find myself feeling lost

Just me alone with my thoughts

A place I don’t want to be

Sometimes they work against me

I’m always looking sorry

Just hoping someone would call me

Or want me, or maybe just see me

Thoughts just dripping down

Like they’re falling from the ceiling

Like as if my mind is leaking

I’m dreaming of days were I’m not sinking

But I’m awake

And it’s hard to float due to all the weight…

  But...                                                  

…but maybe...                           

…maybe I’m crazy?

Maybe I hate me, but could you blame me?

Please just hear me out

As I kid, I couldn’t pout

Without being seen like a sissy

Silly me, I believed that

My feelings were often unneeded

But the bleeding just never stopped

My friends thought I was soft

Hidden tears I never talked

This is probably were it starts

The isolation.

How could I speak I was suffocated?

All I wanted was to be like them

So I always felt alone, I was just so different

Fast forward now I blame it on rejection

But she’s not the real reason why I’m so dejected

And I got questions in my head

When does the loneliness ever end?

Why do I always put on an act and just pretend?

Am I only honest when I’m jotting down lines?

Sugar-coated melodies to help me pass the time

Truth is I’m ugly, looking for someone to love me

Funny

I’m always looking for love from somewhere else

But I still can’t seem to find a way to simply love myself